The X Factor has started again this year, I don’t know whether it is just me or does everyone that watches the show try a little bit harder when they are singing in the shower, or when their favourite song comes on the radio?
When I was a teenager, I used to practice my guitar and sing on my bed for hours, after about a year, the nun next door told my mother over the garden wall that whoever sung at night in my room sang beautifully. I don’t know what happens to my voice when it travels through a wall, it must be some miracle, but she used to enjoy it. Once I got wind of the news that Sister Margaret was my number one fan it gave me more enthusiasm and confidence than ever before. From then on, all my songs would be dedicated to ‘Mags’ and I would every night do a different number louder and harder, truly believing that Sister Margaret was sat on the other side of the wall listening and enjoying my performance. I think I even belted out ‘Kum By Ya My Lord’ once just to please my audience. The poor woman probably slept in a different room praying that I would stop eventually.
Now, I am tone deaf. Once on holiday my mother literally ordered me to go and sing on a karaoke or she would disown me. I knew it would be bad, but it was so bad that the people in the pool I was singing to started to grab their towels and leave. During a big note, I looked over the balcony to the pool searching for the approval of my mother, to find she was hiding with the rest of my family in the jacuzzi. Once I had finished entertaining the guests, I found my mother who was surprisingly not looking too happy, and making arrangements to definitely disown me.
So, to sum it up, I won’t ever be performing on X Factor unless I can stand behind a wall and a bunch of nuns are on the panel. Stranger things have happened!