I’ve got the X Factor

The X Factor has started again this year, I don’t know whether it is just me or does everyone that watches the show try a little bit harder when they are singing in the shower, or when their favourite song comes on the radio?

When I was a teenager, I used to practice my guitar and sing on my bed for hours, after about a year, the nun next door told my mother over the garden wall that whoever sung at night in my room sang beautifully. I don’t know what happens to my voice when it travels through a wall, it must be some miracle, but she used to enjoy it. Once I got wind of the news that Sister Margaret was my number one fan it gave me more enthusiasm and confidence than ever before. From then on, all my songs would be dedicated to ‘Mags’ and I would every night do a different number louder and harder, truly believing that Sister Margaret was sat on the other side of the wall listening and enjoying my performance. I think I even belted out ‘Kum By Ya My Lord’ once just to please my audience. The poor woman probably slept in a different room praying that I would stop eventually.

Now, I am tone deaf. Once on holiday my mother literally ordered me to go and sing on a karaoke or she would disown me. I knew it would be bad, but it was so bad that the people in the pool I was singing to started to grab their towels and leave. During a big note, I looked over the balcony to the pool searching for the approval of my mother, to find she was hiding with the rest of my family in the jacuzzi. Once I had finished entertaining the guests, I found my mother who was surprisingly not looking too happy, and making arrangements to definitely disown me.

So, to sum it up, I won’t ever be performing on X Factor unless I can stand behind a wall and a bunch of nuns are on the panel. Stranger things have happened!

First Draft

When I was young I worked in a factory packing urine strips, and my colleague Kevin who sat next to me was a very pleasant short, balding man with a moustache. The only problem we had was that Kevin was always complaining of a ‘draft’. I was seventeen and I had never heard someone complaining of a draft, he was constantly rubbing his neck, shutting doors, and moaning. It was quite funny at the time, I thought he was just a bit eccentric and took no notice. Since then, I have over the years heard other people complain of this non existent ‘draft’ but not until recently I realised that I had started complaining too.

Today I was sat by my window and I could feel this cold gentle breath like breeze wrapping around my neck, and down to my ankles. I said to Ross ‘Oooo can you feel that draft?’ , rubbing my neck, shutting the door and .. realising that I was just like Kevin.

I wonder why it is that only after the age of 30 that the dreaded draft gets you?

The Beast Within

I was watching a Tattoo programme the other day, and it made me think back to the Tattoo shop near the place I used to work.
I was working in the Council, it was under refurbishment and I was dealing with the general public, I went into the makeshift waiting room with a note in my hand with the name of the person or business I would be dealing with, it had the words ‘The Beast Within’ written on it. Now, rather than shout out the name to speak to the customer, instantly I spotted in the hot busy waiting room the man who was obviously from the Tattoo shop called ‘The Beast Within’ who was waiting to see me. I confidently walked over to the old ginger bearded long scruffy haired, heavily tattooed and pierced man who was sticking out like a sore thumb, got up nice and close and said ‘The Beast Within sir?’.

The guy looked at me with complete confusion, which prompted me to repeat the words whilst nodding my head reassuringly ‘The Beast Within?’ ‘The Beast Within?’ ‘ THE BEASST WITHIN?’ thinking he hadn’t heard me.
He had.
Not so confidently and a bit desperate I quietly said ‘The Beast Within sir.. Sir? ‘ He looked at me again with his old blue shocked eyes and then I realised he wasn’t from that shop.

Little awkward, little sweaty, slowly I step backwards away smiling, apologising under my breath, running back into the office to check the name, it was right and I did eventually see the well dressed lady I was supposed to be seeing.

2 v’s 1

Ah a quiet moment, the tag team are asleep, and I have a rare 5 mins to update this blog.

Everyday Rudi is understanding more and more, so much so that we have started to spell certain things to stop a tantrum. For example, I say to Ross ‘ Shall we put the T.E.L.L.Y on for a bit?’ or ‘ Have you seen my P.H.O.N.E?’ .. Though it does make me laugh when one of us starts ‘Can you pass me a B. I…umm.. S? C..U … I ? oh just pass me a biscuit!’.

My old dog Mostyn used to be able to spell, he’d get too excited when we would say ‘Walk’, so then it became ‘W.A.L.K’, and he’d recognise that, so it became ‘L.E.A.D’, in the end we just gave up and sent him to University.

Today I looked in the mirror and realised my mascara had run down both my eyes, then I realised I hadn’t worn mascara for a while and that it was just the bags from the men sleeping in my house. Between Griff feeding every 60 mins, Rudi up seven times a night and Ross snoring I am surprised I am still awake.

Griff is almost 2 months old, I turned around the other day and I realised I hadn’t peed for about 3 days. I just didn’t have time. I hope time doesn’t keep going this fast. Its hard work but I am loving every minute of it.

Sleep is for the weak..

Griff has been part of our family for a month. It’s been a whirlwind of dirty nappies, sleepless nights and lots of fun.

Before Griff arrived I did wonder how Rudi and I would cope with another human being joining us. I needn’t have worried at all, Griff slotted right in and its like he was always part of our party. I guess he has been for the last nine months and probably got in the way more in my stomach than he does now.

The sleepless nights are tough again, but this time I know they won’t last forever, even though Rudi still doesn’t sleep through.

I have a few more lines on my face, a shade darker under my eyes, and a belly that will never be the same but I am so thankful to have two beautiful boys (I might be a bit biased).

If you haven’t already met them, please come and visit soon! The spare room is ready!

Griff Tomos Pco Martin

Well, he’s finally arrived, I have been pregnant all year and it was worth every kick in the ribs, every nerve pain in my leg, and every extra stretch mark.

My waters decided to break in Aldi’s on Wednesday, I calmly carried on shopping, crossed my legs and paid for my milk. Nothing happened, we went up the hospital and they confirmed it was my waters and I hadn’t just peed myself..

Being admitted the next day wasn’t much fun, my contractions started at about 2pm I spent most of the day chatting to ‘Lily’ in the bed opposite and trying to score more than just paracetamol and codeine. (which I failed miserably on)

1.30am my contractions really started, not to cause a fuss, I just paced the halls until a midwife took pity on me and offered me an examination, I was 4cm, enough for some gas and air. She put me in a side room all on my own and 3 hours later came back. They had a room for me on labour ward, and to go get my stuff. Standing by my bed at 4.30am and no sign of the midwife was probably my lowest point, I was 7cm and trying to gather my belongings, I was sure Lily would have to deliver my baby there and then. Walked to the labour ward, and begged for an epidural, I would have had one nine months ago if I was offered.. eventually at 6.30am it came, but it was too late, it didn’t work.

Ring of fire? No one needs to feel that.

However, baby Griff made his appearance 14 minutes after I text Ross saying ‘I’m pushing!’ it was quick, too quick as Ross came rushing in 8 minutes later.

We had to stay in hospital for 48 hours after the birth as my waters had gone for so long, and at 3am every morning they would take Griff and administer antibiotics and sometimes they would keep him if he was settled till 5 or 6am so I could sleep. Anyway at about 10.30pm one evening, I happened to mention this to a lady on my ward, and before I had made it back to my bed which was 6 steps away she was on the phone to the midwife and I overhear her saying ‘I just CANT sleep, please can you come take him away for a few hours!?!’ … it was only 10.30pm and she had only had him that day! it did make me laugh. They came and took him for her, poor woman I do wonder how she’ll cope!

Griff has settled in well, Rudi loves him, he has completed my family. I am surrounded by men but I love it.

Welcome to the family Griff. x